Every girl loves to have a couple of drinks on a Friday night (TGIF, you guys), but most girls swallow them with their throat, not their vagina. Still, this vodka-soaked tampon thing has apparently become such a trend that I’m surprised Tyra hasn’t dedicated an episode to it yet. I first read about it a little while back; the geekazoid in me likes to post on an all-girls (or mostly girls) message board, and this topic was brought up. Basically, if it wasn’t clear already, ladies are soaking tampies in alcohol and sticking them up their vag.
I looked it up and there’s some dispute as to whether this is an urban legend or not. Please. I can guarantee you that many curious fools have tried this. And I actually totally understand why: you get drunk faster. It’s like when you have a yeast infection. If you shoot Monistat cream up yourself, you feel near-instant relief. If you take oral medication, the pain can take hours to be eased. In this case, the booze gets immediately absorbed by the vagina’s membranes, which allows it to enter the bloodstream faster. And then you’re drunk! Yay!
Oh and boys, don’t feel left out. The trick works rectally as well.
I personally don’t get how this is possible. I mean I get the ends, but I don’t fully understand the means. When a tampon has absorbed anything (be it blood, vodka, whatever), it gets all big and fluffy. And like certain other things that I won’t bother naming, tampons are easiest to insert when they’re stiff. How do you get it up there when it’s all smushed and dripping? Seems messy. And painful. I get the feeling that vodka in your vagina would really sting.
I wonder who does this. I assume it’s ~wild college kids~ and alcoholics. I have to say, though, if I knew for a fact that it was amazing, wouldn’t burn like hell and would leave my vaginal tissue fully intact, I might want to give it a shot. Just to test it out, you know. I think I’ll talk Maria into trying it for all of us.
But be careful, Maria, because according to this guy, you might crack your head and die. Sorry.