You’re So Vain (I Bet You Think This Post Is About You)

I don’t go out as much as I used to. It got to a point where getting drunk and doing drugs got mundane and repetitive. Partying at the same bars, hearing the same [lame] music and making fake conversation with the same people got on my last nerve.

I started getting sick of it on one particular outing. It was a Saturday at some club, a couple of years ago. That night, it dawned on me that certain people aren’t partying to be with friends, meet new people or even get laid. No, some people go out to post pics of themselves on Facebook or Myspace the next day, thereby oddly upping their social status. You might think I’m crazy, but I know I’m not. I’ve discussed this theory with a few of my friends and they’ve all noticed and agree.

The weapon of choice for these social networking pseudo-models is alcohol and/or Redbull. None of these people pose without a drink; it’s a pre-requisite of sorts, or maybe an inherent need. I’ve literally heard girls say, “Hold on!” so they could grab their amaretto sour and sip on it while their BFF snaps a photo.

If they aren’t taking vain pictures of themselves, they’re taking pictures of everyone else. Anything that is socially deemed as being “fun” (think girls making out or flashing some tit, people doing Jagerbombs, drunks dancing weird) is up for grabs. Simply being good looking is reason enough to be photographed these days. I absolutely hate all this. Like, how many times have you gone out and some random person snapped a picture of you and the next day at 11 a.m. you were already tagged? Ugh!Mirror

OK, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that I’ve never enjoyed posing for the cam or lie about posting pics on FB. I have. I, however, know the meaning of the word “moderation”. People need to learn it, too. It seems as though every single time I go out, there’s some asshole with an SLR going all paparazzi on everyone’s ass. I hate it. I hate having my picture taken and I especially hate having it posted online without my consent.

What’s up with digital cameras, anyway? They’ve turned the once fun task of capturing a happy moment with friends into dozens of lame attempts to look cool. It used to be, “Say cheese!” and snap. Now it’s more like, “How’s my hair? Do I look OK? Should we use the flash?” because everyone is petrified of looking bad. And then, when you finally take the picture, everyone huddles around that miniature screen screaming, “Oh God, delete it!” Then you take a million other pictures until everyone agrees upon one. Pictures have no soul anymore.

Digi cams aren’t the only gadget to have ushered in an era of narcissistic, needlessly self-important teens and young adults. You can thank webcams for that, too. Every social networking site is full of megalomaniacs photographing themselves and perfecting their kissy-face and gangsta lean poses through their computer monitor’s built-in camera. The irony in this is that while these people look totally silly, they take themselves extremely seriously.

Hot BodI honestly don’t get why some individuals feel the need to document their every move, from a night of drinking to their daily outfit, through the lens of the camera. And people blog about this stuff, too! Since when have photos and mediocre bullshit (who cares if your blouse is vintage?) replaced intelligent content? Not that this blog is a shining example of intelligent content or anything (nearly all of our posts involve poop), but you get what I’m saying.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. Am I missing the picture?

-Maria D



Filed under BAD BANGS

3 responses to “You’re So Vain (I Bet You Think This Post Is About You)

  1. GiGi D`Agostino

    notice how this blog has no comments? Either you struck a nerve with your audience or they were too busy holding a beer, while coming out of the shower, while taking a picture in the mirror all the while poutting (sp?) theyre lips.

    This post hits home because i find that cameras have ruined social get togethers. Everything becomes fake. You dont actually capture moments, you capture people doing dumb shit because somebody else has a camera. The thing is i like to take pics on occasion to remeber times and friends, but i often feel like a cock because pictures have lost their importance. Especially at concerts, wow. Terrible.

  2. GiGi D`Agostino

    In the words of the awesome and infamous Men at Work, gods of rock and synthesizers…

    Who can it be knocking at my door
    Go away, don’t come ’round here no more
    Can’t you see that it’s late at night
    I’m very tired, and I’m not feeling right
    All I wish is to be alone
    Stay away, don’t you invade my home
    Best off if you hang outside
    Don’t come in – I’ll only run and hide

    Who can it be now (4X)

    Who can it be knocking at my door
    Make no sound, tip-toe across the floor
    If he hears, he’ll knock all day
    I’ll be trapped, and here I’ll have to stay
    I’ve done no harm, I keep to myself
    There’s nothing wrong with my state of mental health
    I like it here with my childhood friend
    Here they come, those feelings again

    Is it the man come to take me away
    Why do they follow me
    It’s not the future that I can see
    It’s just my fantasy

    Oh-oh-oh, who can it be now
    Oh-way-oh, who can it, who can it
    Oh-oh-oh, who can it be now
    Oh-way-oh, yeah yeah yeah

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