I think I have a little bit of a fear of people. Not all people, just some people. For example, I feel extremely uncomfortable if I’m sober and someone around me is really drunk or on drugs. I also can’t deal with people who may or may not be feeling well. It’s weird. Like, if a junkie and I are waiting for the same bus, I’ll walk to the next stop or, depending on how weird they’re acting, I’ll take a different route altogether. That might seem somewhat normal, but the littlest things set me off, too. For example, I’ll get up and change metro carts if the person next to me is breathing weird or even obsessively shaking their foot. People expressing the slightest discomfort in some way or another is difficult for me to watch.
I remember going to Pita Pit around 3 a.m. recently. As I was waiting in line to order one of their fine sandwiches, a super tall, drunk guy stood behind me. I could hear him breathing and he kept leaning over me. He had a Lurch from the Addams Family thing going on. It freaked me out so much that I basically ran out, waited ten minutes, then went back. But he was still there! He was waiting for his pita, wobbling and sweating all over the place.
I think that on some level, these people seem troubled to me (even if they totally aren’t!), and I just don’t want our worlds to collide. I don’t want them bursting my feel-fine bubble. Essentially, I want to be left alone. Forever.
Have you seen this video?
Seeing this guy faint (and give a fucking play by play on it) made me feel so uncomfortable that in turn, I also felt like fainting. For an entire day.