THERE IS A WASP PROBLEM DOWNTOWN. Like, a severe one. This has happened every late August for the past few years. What the hell is going on? I wouldn’t mind the wasps if they weren’t so aggressive. As soon as I step out of the office, two or three of these little fuckers swarm around me and refuse to leave me alone. I have nothing for you, wasps!
I’m a little scared to start school because they always find their way onto the Concordia shuttle bus and it’s like, “What the hell? Get out of here!” The ride is grueling enough as it is. I don’t want to have to deal with this. Wasps are mean and I’m scared of them. Why can’t they be nice like their adorable cousin, the bumble bee?
I remember a few years ago, before I moved. I’d hear scratching right above my bed, in my old bedroom. At first, it was really light and no one else heard it. I did. It drove me crazy. I couldn’t sleep at night. I felt like it was getting worse by the second; for a while, I suspected I was losing my mind. Eventually, my parents heard it, too. They assumed that we had rats in the attic. They meant to call an exterminator but because the problem didn’t affect them directly, they didn’t really give a shit. I ended up putting my foot down and demanding that they get someone over. An exterminator came and shocked us all by saying that there were no rats above my bed: there were wasps. A huge nest had developped and had we not called the exterminator over, their sheer weight would have forced the ceiling to collapse. Onto me. While I slept.
Now, I’ve never been stung. What if I’m allergic? How am I supposed to know? I don’t want to be stung. It looks like it hurts. A lady I work with’s sister had a wasp fly up her nose. It stung her IN HER NOSE! These things are ruthless!
I tried looking up ways to repel wasps but every solution is negated by a commenter claiming that it doesn’t work. I was told to throw water on them because they don’t like water; but to me, it seems that splashing them would get them even more pissed off.
Off topic, but I’m eating lunch right now and I coughed and bits of food and sauce just went all over my screen. I’m laughing but I’m not sure why I find this funny. It’s disgusting, really.
So what am I supposed to do about the wasps?