We love getting emails. And compliments. Emails that include compliments are twice as good. Reader Leslie Nikole recently wrote to us in hopes of finding out why women can’t use public bathrooms without making a gross mess.
First of all, I love your blog. It gives me something to do beside count the number of mutated spiders that climb around in my classroom’s corners. It also makes me happy that you’re Montrealers, it’s like we have some kind of common ground.
Anyways, since you’re older and in university, I wanted to know if the disgusting shit I see in my high school bathroom (I’m in Sec 4/Grade Ten, thank God I’ll be outta there soon), used pads and tampons and their wrappers thrown all around the floor will also be a common hazard when I go to college/university? And what should I do about it in the meantime because the janitors (ha!) don’t clean for shit? Am I gonna be stuck holding my pee or what?
( http://yngblkqwncnfsd.wordpress.com/ , just in case you’re interested.)
A youngin! I feel like an old fart now but I will advise you nonetheless. I know you’re hoping that my answer will be positive and reassuring, but unfortunately, it’s not. Women of all ages are disgusting. Especially when it comes to toilets.
I remember when I first started disliking public restrooms. In elementary school, we had designated pee breaks. The whole class had to go. One day, in fifth grade, I noticed that this cool girl refused to piss at school. I was like, “What’s up with that?” She frowned and said that the school’s toilets are disgusting. I thought about it and realized that they were. They were very disgusting! Wanting to be like the cool girl, I held my pee in. That afternoon, I had an oral presentation and pissed my pants in front of the whole class. The cool girl laughed at me. I then realized that as sickening as the toilets may be, I had to suck it up and use them.
High school wasn’t so bad. I was lucky enough to have gone to a very strict, private school (wow, I never thought I’d say that). Girls there had manners and even if they didn’t, the janitors were well-paid.
I later attended college. It was Dawson, if you’re curious. Because college courses are set up in a way that almost surely differs from your high school’s, you may find yourself with extremely long days followed by really short ones. That means that your whole pooping schedule will be off. You might even have to shit at school. Luckily, I don’t remember Dawson’s washrooms being particularly unclean. Even if you were to accidentally sit on a bowl with piss on it, keep in mind that you aren’t at any risk.
University bathrooms, on the other hand, appear to be entirely repulsive. I took a mini-road trip to Ottawa once and found a mess so revolting in one of U of O’s dorm toilets that my friend dubbed it the ‘fecal disaster’. Concordia isn’t much better. Stay away from the first floor bathrooms in the Hall and Library buildings. If you’re easily grossed out, don’t even set foot into the Faubourg; there will be diarrhea on the seat and drops of blood all over the little period garbage. I saw a turd on the floor there once. WTF? It boggles my mind how nasty students at that school are. You will also repeatedly see girls exit the bathroom without washing their hands. They’ll glance at their face in the mirror, make sure they look good and get the fuck out.
Not all is lost, though. I have a trick for you! If you’re looking for a pleasant bathroom experience, use one of the top floor stalls. They’re cleaner, it smells less, and you’re often the only one in there. I also recommend newer buildings, especially if you have to take a shit. The EV is OK (again, go to one of the higher floors). I’m willing to bet that the new John Molson building will be acceptable, too.
I feel a little weird about having written a post on where to poop, but whatever. I hope it helped. For now, I think you should just look for clean stalls rather than waste valuable time complaining about your fellow students. They’ll never learn, anyway. Oh, and wash your hands well because germy particles are floating around all over the place.