Menstruation + Weight Gain = Depression

I am an emotional wreck this week. During lunch today, my boyfriend asked me why I love Costco so much and tears starting pouring out of my eyes. All I could mutter was, “Why do you make fun of me all the time?” Pathetic, I know. I am obviously riding the emotional roller coaster of menstruation. Nevertheless, I’m particularly depressed and sad this period.  I never tLizzi Millerhought a trip to the pet store would send me over the edge, but boy was I wrong. Yesterday, the BF and I brought our dog to Mondou to pick up a few bones. There was a huge scale on the floor next to the cash. I tried to get my jerk dog to climb onto the scale so we could weigh him. Of course, he wasn’t cooperating so I forcefully picked him up and put him on it. Big mistake. As I climbed on, I saw the numbers on the scale sky rocket. I dropped my dog and stood on the scale until the numbers stopped. My stomach turned, my eyes swelled up and I had a lump in my throat. In about four years, I gained 30 lbs! What the fuck?

This is hard for me, but I’m ready to tell the world right now how much I weigh. Well, I’m not exactly ready, but I’ll do it anyway. It needs to be done. I always lied about my weight and said I don’t know what it is or I ball-parked it, but now I know for sure. I weigh 178.6 lbs and it’s the most I’ve ever weighed.

After seeing that number, I rushed home and googled “liposuction Montreal” and “tummy tuck scars”. I threatened my bf and claimed that I would get a loan to finance my decision to go under the knife. I swore I would only eat carrots and I’d start counting calories.

I know what you’re thinking: diet & exercise. I already know this; I’ve had 3 gym memberships in my life time and I can’t stay motivated to go. My diet is actually, for someone my age, pretty good. I don’t drink very often, I don’t wake up at 3 a.m. to eat cookies and ice cream and I rarely pig out on junk food. In fact, I drink a shit load of water and green tea and I walk a lot! If anything, my eating habits and exercise have improved in the last four years. I don’t get it.

This weight gain is making me practically mentally unstable. I’m always paranoid my bf is checking out some skinny bitch when we’re walking downtown. Sometimes, I take some of the things he says totally out of context and blow them out of proportion. Less than five minutes ago, we were at the dep flipping through US Weekly and I pointed at Kim Kardashian’s bikini-clad body. I sighed and he said, “C’mon, it’s all photoshopped” to which I replied, “Whatever, you wish I looked like that. You’re just with me ’cause you’re stuck with me”.  It’s ruining my relationship.

Melissa is right, scales are bastards. However, I can’t seem to find the courage to accept or to change myself. I’ll never get a tummy tuck because I don’t have thousands of dollars and I don’t want them to sew two parts of my stomach skin together. Not eating? Impossible. I enjoy food way too much and deep down inside, I know it’s bad for me.

I’m not sure what I’m getting at with this post; I just really needed to let it all out. I’m sad.

Does anyone have any miraculous weight loss solutions? Or, at the very least, an explication as to why I’ve gained so much weight?

– Maria D

PS: I Googled “180 lbs” and found this article, which slightly cheered me up.


Filed under BAD BANGS

11 responses to “Menstruation + Weight Gain = Depression

  1. Nicole

    I know that sounds uber creept and stalkerish, but let me explain. Haha. Not everyone is built the same, and I know you’ve probably heard all this stuff before, but it took me about 10 years to realize I’ll never be a size 2, not even a size 4. You mentioned counting calories, and boy do I have a story for you.
    I started counting calories July 2008, and gave my self a cutoff of 2000 calories, 60 grams of fat a day. Then after a couple of months I cut it down to 1500 calories and 52 grams of fat per day. Between July 08 and May 09, I’m happy to say I lost about 20lbs. I just started paying attention to what I ate, but didn’t limit myself to strictly fruits veggies and really healthy crap. I still ate the stuff I loved but ate smaller quantities. It honestly worked. I didn’t go to the gym because let’s face it, it’s not a fun place for most of us. But I went from 160 to about 138. I think it’s the best way to shed unwanted flubber, because fad diets suck, not eating at all sucks, working out incessantly sucks harrrd. So this is my solution to you 🙂

    ps; I’m not a creepy stranger… We met at Mel’s haha

  2. Margo

    I have sorta the opposite problem. I gained a lot of weight on the pill. Since my split with the bf, I didn’t wait a second and stopped. It’s been about 2 months now and still no change…I hope it was the pill…I hope it was the pill! What else can it be?

  3. badbangs

    maria, maria. you know i think you’re gorgeous. i hate that you think this way about yourself because it isn’t warranted. i realize that comparing is sort of stupid, but i think you’re a lot prettier than i am. and i’m fine with myself, so you should thereby be fine with yourself. if only it were that simple, huh?

    also, i get that way during my p-dot too. i once cried like a baby while watching a destiny’s child video.

    and i gained weight too. i was gonna write a post about it! unlike you, i’m totally and completely lazy and refuse to join a gym or cook healthy meals. i’m only after miracle cures so let me know if you find one, ha ha.

    actually, if you wanna join the concordia gym, i’ll join with you, only because we could motivate each other to actually go. it’s pretty cheap, let me know if you’re down, mama.


    p.s. did i mention you’re gorgeous? 🙂

  4. It’s very odd. On one hand I am very comfortable and confident about my (naked) body (having a BMI of 22), but on the other hand I’m like you. I would love to be thinner because, as shallow as it sounds, it looks better when you’ve got clothes on. Just imagine matchstick thin legs in cutoff Levi’s. It’s something I could never wear!

    In my lifetime I’ve figured that diets are doomed to make you fatter. I’m skinnier when I eat like a sumo wrestler (no kidding). But as of late I figured out something really revolutionary: not all sports has to be as boring as lifting weights at the gym! I just started pole dancing (and wrote about it on my blog) which is a really great workout. Yesterday I went to laughing yoga for the first time (we rolled around on our backs, laughing hysterically for 15 minutes, amongst other things) and swimming is my new favorite!
    Do something thats really fun and go with friends!

  5. carla

    aahhh you guys are absolutely hilarious. i’ve read every one of your blogs and i freak out about how i can seriously relate to their contents. it’s all in your writing know exactly how to put it out there and it never feels lame. thanks for the enjoyable readings 🙂

    p.s. is there a way of receiving email subscriptions to the blogs?

    • badbangs

      OMG Carla that’s so sweet of you! I’m so happy you can relate

      I’m not sure about the subscriptions.. we wanted a member section but I don’t think WordPress offers that
      Mel, any thoughts?


      • badbangs

        shit i have no idea. i’ll keep looking. that would be really cool (anyone who has a wordpress blog, feel free to help us out here). and thanks carla!


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