Bad Mornings

garfieldYesterday, I woke up early in hopes of making myself a delicious meal. After several minutes of prepping and cooking, I truthfully believed I’d invented the best breakfast sandwich ever: eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato and prosciutto, gently folded into fresh pita bread. I was really eager to eat it so I raced to the table. Well, I must have been a little too eager because I dropped the whole thing on the floor. It splattered everywhere. Most of it was ruined but I managed to salvage a little piece. My floor is filthy but I ate it anyway.

My brother saw the whole thing and mocked me extensively. I tried to be tough, but I went upstairs afterwards and cried a bit. Yes, I cried over a sandwich. You don’t know how good it looked! I told the story to a few of my classmates later and got teary-eyed over it again. What the hell is wrong with me?

I’m just not a morning person. I never eat breakfast and I don’t think I’ll ever try to again. I wake up in time to get dressed and brush my teeth, thereby squeezing in as much sleep as possible. I love to sleep. Sleeping is my baby. There’s just something about being loosely tucked into a fluffy, cozy bed that makes me never want to get out.

Plus, bad mornings mean bad days. After the sandwich tragedy, I almost hit a lady with my car (my bad),  did badly on a quiz and lost two dollars. I also had a really intense thirst all day.

Basically, if I have to wake up early on any given day, I’ll probably be snappy and unpleasant. So don’t bother me. Please! Especially if you’re one of those chirpy “Good morning!” people. I loathe you.

And dont’ even get me started on waking up early in winter. Getting out of bed before the sun comes out is ridiculous. I can’t do it.

Does anyone have tips on having good mornings? Do good mornings exist? 

-Melissa

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9 Comments

Filed under BAD BANGS

9 responses to “Bad Mornings

  1. Nicole

    I literally laughed out loud when I read the part about you dropping the sandwich. Looking back, it was almost inevitable. Your sandwich was doomed from the moment you thought about it, just because it was morning. I believe mornings are a curse for anyone. I don’t know how people can be chirpy and so damn perky in the morning. I try to put on a facade, but if I truly have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, I will be a bitch, and you will deal with it. But man now it makes me want a sandwich… I love making my own bacon egg and cheese sanwiches, but I make them in the afternoon, and my mom usually makes them for me, because I’m still spoiled like that at times. And it turns out well because I had nothing to do with its process.
    So the moral of this story, is to not eat huge lavish breakfasts at home, eat them in the afternoon, and if possible have mom make them for you.
    Hahaha

    • badbangs

      you’re completely right. i’ll stick to grabbing a granola bar (i hate those but wtv i keep eating them) as i leave the house. my mom usually makes me breakfast on the weekend and it’s the awesomest thing ever. i’m salivating just thinking about it!

      -mel

  2. Rob

    Mornings- how I loathe them. To me, the worst part is getting out of your 100+ degree warm bed in the winter, and then having to go take a shower while shivering from the coldness of the bathroom. Then, once freshly clean I have to walk up a huge fuckin mountain to get to school, getting sweaty all over again in the process. All that intense shivering for nothing!

    Mornings- why must you mock me!

    • badbangs

      dedede robert. i hate showering in winter. the warm water feels nice but as soon as you step out it’s all cold and disgusting.

      -mel

  3. Janet

    I am very thankfully that I convinced my boss that my time would be served more efficiently if I worked 4pm to midnight. So now I don’t need to deal with mornings! NO MORNINGS!!!!! The only time I deal with them now is on weekends when the boyfriend sleeps over, he wakes up way too early to be normal, I think he might be part alien…

    I know how you feel about the sandwich though, I for some reason cannot make eggs, I always break the yolk, and one morning I got so pissed i threw the pan and totally freaked my roomy out. (hot pan flying thru kitchen = bad) So now, when we wake up early, someone else makes breakfast or we go out!

    • badbangs

      yeah i used to work something like 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.-ish when i was a hostess, and that was the best shift. unfortunately i used to go out as soon as i finished and spent all my tip money on booze. i don’t think i managed to save any money up at that job, lol.

      the pan throwing sounds like something i’d do. i get frustrated so easily.

      oh, and going out for brunch is the best.

      -mel

  4. GiGi D`Agostino

    i also once cried for a departed sandwich that fell way too prematurely.

    just something that is hard to deal with. The hunger, the preparation, the anticipation, the excitment…all to splatter into the floor.

    The meat laughs, the humus cries, the lettuce cringes, the olive slices hide…anarchy.

    i dont enjoy re-living it.

  5. This morning I made myself mushrooms and eggs. It looked awesomely delicious. I had a side of buttered whole wheat bread and a nice cup of coffee. I placed them on my tray and made my way to the couch when the coffee spilled out of it’s mug and into my dish soaking up my eggs, mushrooms, and toast in coffee-ness. Needless to say, my breakfast was ruined and I thought about the day you ruined your breakfast. Hence why I’m posting a comment here.

    And, if you want to know, I still ate the eggs (I was hungry). It all goes to the same place, right?

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