Go Habs Go (Away)

I hate crowds, I hate taking the metro and if there’s one thing that really sends me over the edge, it’s taking the metro with a crowd of knuckle dragging hockey fans. Fandom in general freaks me out. I can’t fully grasp why people become so obsessed with their favorite band, actor (those Twilight fans, wtf?) or in this case, a hockey team.

Canadiens fans are fucking annoying and deserve to get shit on. As I wrote this line, three people signed onto MSN with the Habs logo as a display picture. Pathetic. This post is gonna generate a lot of nasty comments, possibly even some hate mail. I don’t care, this needs to be said once and for all. I know I’m not the only one fed up of seeing face-painted, fat drunk guys running wild.

I don’t mind sports and I can understand a certain level of fanaticism when it comes to rooting for your fave team. However, there’s a difference between wearing a hockey jersey on game day and wearing a fucking Habs belt to work, every day. Yes, they sell Habs belts. That’s not the only thing which bears the Habs logo, the list is much longer than you think…

Habs Couch

Why would anyone want this atrocity in their home? Worst of all, who in their right mind would spend 699$ for this piece of crap? I’m not sure how buying a Canadiens couch is helping them win the cup, but let us move on to the next ridiculous item.

Habs Purse

Ladies, this a great way to show off your snazzy sense of style while supporting your home team. This lil’ gem of a purse is made out of recycled license plates and it is worth, brace yourselves, $325. For that price you can buy yourself a leather purse at Rudsak – a really nice one that won’t make you look like a douchebag.

Alyssa Milano Habs Shirt

Alyssa Milano is a hot B-List celeb and you can be just like her by sporting this fab “Pure Fashion” top. That was a lie, this is an ugly shirt even if a celeb wears it. Celebrity endorsed sports wear is the ultimate marketing ploy. Sadly, people are falling for it.


For some reason,  girls seem to be the ones who bring the fanaticism to the next level. They aren’t content with just an ugly pink Habs t-shirt. No, they need the coffee mug, the mouse pad, and the fucking sterling silver earrings (65$). I’ve also noticed that it’s “cool” for girls to be crazy sport buffs. I’m sure some girls really do appreciate the sport but in my heart of hearts, I know that a lot of it is utter bullshit. There is nothing wrong with women liking sports (hell, Melissa played and coached hockey & ringuette for like 12 years), but there is something wrong with the reasons certain women like hockey. A girl who likes hockey is fine, a girl who memorized all the players’ names is intense, a girl who yells at the TV when a fight breaks out is hard to believe. I am willing to bet my life that not all, but a lot of chicks pretend or even convince themselves they love the Habs. This is obviously a clever way to attract men and to be “different”. And as the hockey season progresses, even more girls jump on the I-Love-Hockey-Bandwagon. And when the playoffs start, everyone and their mothers is watching the game.

With all this merchandise, it kind of makes you wonder if hockey is nothing more than just a brand. Something that you can package and sell. The bigwigs and shareholders that are ruining everything else in this world are ruining sports as well.

I asked my boyfriend why he doesn’t follow the Habs and he told me that he feels like hockey has lost its soul. In his own words, “It feels like players are not in it for the game but for the paycheques. Maybe it’s just how it looks on my high def -TV, but the game seems so sterile and unappealing. The rink is crammed with advertisements and the players all look like they just graduated from high school. I miss the Espositos and the Bobby Clarks; the real warriors of the game, missing teeth and all. Those guys didn’t play for trillions of dollars and would often have to work some factory job to make ends meet.”

No one needs to sit on a Canadiens couch or own every single jersey to be a true fan. Hockey isn’t about how many flags you can hang off the top of your car. That kind of hockey (or any sport for that matter) is the kind of hockey corporations have in mind. It’s time for people to get their heads out of their asses and see hockey for what it really is; just another way for corporations to get richer.

-Maria D



Filed under BAD BANGS

7 responses to “Go Habs Go (Away)

  1. badbangs

    haha you’re such a jerk

  2. you can replace “canadiens” with Red Sox, Patriots, PAckers, Leafs, U2, Metallica, Kings of Leon, Energy, Parasuco…etc. Obsession isnt restrcited for Canadiens fans. What makes a person less of a douche if they spend 100$ on a canadiens purse than if they spend 100$ ona rudsak bag? Arent both brands? Do you think that because Rudsak is a “stylish” brand that it isnt a another corporate rapeing? Those bags both cost 5$ to make.

    Living here it just focuses on the habs. Im not going to get into why the Canadiens are such a popular aspect in our culture (lack of professional sports teams, tradition, mediaditc obsession). But people do tend to get overly enthusiastic and annoying.

    Everything that is sold for profit, is ways for corporations to get richer. If the demand is there, why wouldnt a team sell a couch with their logo on it? Kellogs sells cereal products. Im sure you or someone you know religiously eats a certain brand of cereal, are they too corrupted? Or is it ok because they havent purchased the Toucan Sam bullet belt?

    I can go on and i do get your point, but i find this comment stems from you just being irritated. Nothing is pure anymore in entertainment. Whether its sports, music or movies, etc…at the end of the day the person running the show is saying “how can i make those little shits spend that extra dollar?”

    On another note, i 100% agree with you on the point that many women fall into the hockey craze during the season. Its pretty pathetic.

    BTW they sell belts with just about anything you can think of. Ive seen an obama belt buckle, countless move related belts, evey band known to man belts, hell even belts that say vanessa on them. Sell out!!


    • badbangs

      Geeg, youre totally right about the purse example
      and yes I am really annoyed with fans and thats really where the post stems from
      and also I meant sports in general but really focused on the Habs cuz well we live in MTL
      I think Moderation is the key here, as in eveything
      -Maria D

  3. Nicole

    Well Maria, looks like you hate me too. Haha. You pretty much described me to a T, minus a couple of things. I don’t have everything in bleu,blanc,rouge; I’m too broke for that shit. And I do have a genuine passion for the sport. Albeit, I do miss the days of real hockey; when it wasn’t all about the money and all that jazz. I am loud as fuck, I do yell at my TV when the refs make a bad call, when there’s a fight and so on, and I’m pretty up to speed about who our players are (even though now I have to learn a whole new team…). But I’m up to speed on the NHL as a whole, not just those ‘hockey fans’ who know the Habs and that’s it. I’m uber competitive in nature, in anything I watch or play, and that transferred over to my love of hockey.
    But mind you, I’m not a bad person! Haha. And I’m usually nice and loud in the convenienve of my own home… and in bars after a couple of pints. What annoys me are the imposters.

  4. Janet

    I prefer to watch the minor league hockey, the one step down from the NHL, those players have more enthusiasm and heart in their game because they need to show their skills to make the NHL. Hockey nowadays are a bunch of whiny guys not wanting to hit eachother because they might hurt their feelings!

    Ok my rant is over… and all I gotta say about the Habs are
    1 – THEY SUCK (although not as much as the leafs)
    2- my ex-boyfriends ex-roomate is almost 40 and still sleeps with his Habs sheets, pillow cases, pillows, and comforter………. he’s ALMOST 40!!! ugh

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s