I’ve had an unusually dramatic weekend. It’s been brought to my attention that someone from my past has been going around calling me names. Apparently, I’m a sex fiend and a slut. She’s said other immature, hurtful things as well but none of them offended me as much as those comments. The girl’s omnipresent cattiness is one of the many reasons I’m happy to have cut her out of my life, but I feel I need to say something about the “slut” thing on behalf of women everywhere (that’s just how I roll).
People absolutely need to stop judging women based on the number of sexual partners they’ve had. Social constructions of sexuality and gender have deemed it ‘natural’ for a man to want and seek sex, whereas when a woman does the same, it’s labeled ‘wrong’, ‘disgusting’ and of course, ‘slutty’. A man who has lots of sex is a player; a woman who has lots of sex is a whore. This double standard has been around for a long time but because it’s never affected me personally, I’ve never bothered dissecting it.
Why has it never affected me personally? Well, I don’t know what constitutes a “slut” in this specific girl’s eyes but, at 24, I can count the number of men I’ve been with on one hand. I’ve only ever been with guys I liked and truly cared for. I’ve never had a one night stand or a fuck friend. In terms of numbers, I’m probably the least sexually experienced girl I know.
However, I firmly believe that even if I had an extremely large pool of partners and countless anonymous experiences, it would still be no one’s goddamned business but my own. Really, no one should be discussing or making up lies about my private, personal sex life. I may be nowhere near the kind of person she’s described me as being, but even if I were, accusing a woman of loving and having lots of sex shouldn’t be an insult. When you think about it, it pretty much sounds like a compliment. So, uh, thanks, I guess.