Grow Up, Please

I’ve had an unusually dramatic weekend. It’s been brought to my attention that someone from my past has been going around calling me names. Apparently, I’m a sex fiend and a slut. She’s said other immature, hurtful things as well but none of them offended me as much as those comments. The girl’s omnipresent cattiness is one of the many reasons I’m happy to have cut her out of my life, but I feel I need to say something about the “slut” thing on behalf of women everywhere (that’s just how I roll).

People absolutely need to stop judging women based on the number of sexual partners they’ve had. Social constructions of sexuality and gender have deemed it ‘natural’ for a man to want and seek sex, whereas when a woman does the same, it’s labeled ‘wrong’, ‘disgusting’ and of course, ‘slutty’. A man who has lots of sex is a player; a woman who has lots of sex is a whore. This double standard has been around for a long time but because it’s never affected me personally, I’ve never bothered dissecting it.

Why has it never affected me personally? Well, I don’t know what constitutes a “slut” in this specific girl’s eyes but, at 24, I can count the number of men I’ve been with on one hand. I’ve only ever been with guys I liked and truly cared for. I’ve never had a one night stand or a fuck friend. In terms of numbers, I’m probably the least sexually experienced girl I know.

However, I firmly believe that even if I had an extremely large pool of partners and countless anonymous experiences, it would still be no one’s goddamned business but my own. Really, no one should be discussing or making up lies about my private, personal sex life. I may be nowhere near the kind of person she’s described me as being, but even if I were, accusing a woman of loving and having lots of sex shouldn’t be an insult. When you think about it, it pretty much sounds like a compliment. So, uh, thanks, I guess.




Filed under BAD BANGS

7 responses to “Grow Up, Please

  1. Nicole

    Wow; what an immature and classless wench! I’ve had this happen to me in the past; MAAAANNNY times. I had a target of some sorts on the back in high school, I’m sure of it. My first time was, to say the least, a less than pleasurable experience, which turned out to be the school’s hottest gossip tip of the week. I was tormented about it, and was depressed for weeks… My high school days were NOT a fun experience thanks to girls like this, and I found the best thing to do (years after the fact) is to let is slide. If they have nothing else better to do than to stir up old shit, then they must be prettty pathetic.

    • badbangs

      oh, i’m definitely taking the high road here. i could have named her and spread lies about her to people too (though that wouldn’t have been necessary because the truth is bad enough as it is), but that would be stooping to her level. it’s tempting, though. it’s hard being an adult.

  2. GiGi D`Agostino

    cat fight


    just a comment on this..

    alot of girls in my life or past always refer to girls as “sluts” or “whores” without keeping in mind the true definition of the word.
    Very few people actually “fit in” to the true meaning.

    Hence dont take it too personally, usually people tend to throw around those words, like you stated, as a defensive wall, or just can not truly expressive why friend A or ex B truly hurt them. I know people in my past have thrown a slew of idiotic insults my way and vice versa. Where they all true? No, but its alot easier saying “man, that girl was a slut”, than admitting you were really hurt and saying ” Well, i really liked her and she broke my heart when she broke up with me and left me for someone else”. Yah get?
    Same goes for girl on girl hate. I cant tell you what a phone call or a friendly gesture will do to dissipate years of hostility that once over seem extremely juvenile.

    we have all been victim of the slut card

    • badbangs

      i’m fully aware that she probably doesn’t actually believe what she’s saying. this post was really more about the using ‘slut’ as an insult thing than about her specifically (which, again, is why i didn’t name her, talk about our history, etc). the phone call is a nice idea but that’s definitely not something i will ever do. i completely willfully distanced myself from this girl. i’m now indifferent to her. i don’t ever talk about her (much less make up lies about her), and i certainly don’t want to bring her back into my life, even if only for a few minutes. she has way too many insecurities for me to ever want to put up with her again. in short, she needs help, and she’s not gonna get it from me (not because i resent her or her actions but because i simply no longer care). nice idea, though.

  3. sara

    who is that old lady?!?!?!?!?!?
    imma kill that bitch.. man fuck dat hoe, cause imma kill that bitch… lil wayne always expresses my feelings at all times…

    AND I WAKE UP ALLLLL THE TIME TO PEE.. 3 -4 TIMES A NIGHT… it possibly may be due to other circumstances but still i HATE it i contemplate peeing in the garbage can in my room for at least 5 minutes before i run to the bathroom everynight… one night ill do it.
    maybe tonight.

  4. sara

    why is my comment awaiting moderation?

    i should surpass moderation

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