Tag Archives: Gossip

I Have A Look Alike

parenttrapEver since I turned 16 or 17, friends have been telling me that I have a look alike that could easily pass as my identical twin. They’ve even mistakenly said hi to her, thinking she was me. I’ve been on a quest to find this girl for several years now. I think we could be BFF. Here are some facts I’ve creepily gathered about her:

She may have gone to VMC:
People always ask me if I went to high school there. I say no and then they’re always like, “Are you sure?” Yes, I’m sure, assholes. The only plausible reasoning behind their reaction is that my look alike went there.

She probably worked at Foot Locker:
I remember a friend once asking me how long I’d been working at Foot Locker. I was like, “I have never worked at Foot Locker a day in my life.” He couldn’t believe it. I rushed to the Foot Locker in question the next day to see if my look alike was there, but she wasn’t. I was too shy to ask the people working if my face looked familiar – I regret it immensely.

She definitely went to Rouge last night, October 23, 2009:
Ah, the most important clue of all! Moments ago, I was sitting on my bed reading an old issue of Missbehave (RIP) when I got this text message from my cousin Sara, the person who probably knows me, my face and my quirks better than anybody else in this world:

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Lady Gaga Has Man Parts

I always thought Lady Gaga looked a bit, how can I say, different? Although her costumes are over the top & sexy, I definitely don’t consider Lady Gaga as being very feminine at all. Have you ever looked at her face? It’s not exactly what you call pretty. I may have found an explanation as to why she looks so weird.

Rumour has it that Lady G is actually a hermaphrodite!

Ok so, I personally think it’s fake. Why wouldn’t she wear underwear? And she’s been walking around pantless since forever, wouldn’t we have caught a glimpse of her teensy weeny before? Apparently, she’s blogged about it a few years ago… but how reliable is that? Maybe it’s an overgrown clit or just a really bad publicity stunt. What do you guys think?  

-Maria D

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Nude Piccies

pedobearVanessa Hudgens is at it again,  y’all. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, allow me to recap: a while ago, naked pictures of her leaked all over the Internet. I’d post a link, but she’s said to have been 17 at the time those photos were taken, making everyone who’s seen the pics a big pedophile.

Who is this Vanessa Hudgens, you ask? I’m not sure either. I think she’s a Disney star. And she has a hilariously bad song about sneakers. Otherwise, I don’t know anything about her. Except what her nipples look like, that is.

So yeah, now a new batch of nudie pics leaked! Apparently she was 17 in those, too. So no link. Sorry; Google if you must. I’ll give you a mini-rundown of the most important parts: in one picture, she has a Zac Efron poster on her wall and in another, she’s wearing a Zac Efron pin. I think that means that her relationship with Zac started as a creepy, stalkery obsession, much like the one I am currently harboring. YES!

But you know, people often ask me, “Mel, should I be photographing myself naked?” Well, no one’s ever asked me that, but if they did, I think I’d answer like this: “No.” Taking naked pictures of yourself cannot possibly be a good idea. No one can be trusted with this kind of treasure; I know I’d personally need to share the gift with all my closest friends. Unless you’re hoping to be seen and inevitably criticized,  keep it covered. There’s nothing wrong with showing off the goods, but you should only do it live, especially if you’re sort of famous. 

The same thing happened to both Cassie and Rihanna. Cassie was all, “Don’t act like you never seen a tittie before.” That was awesome. I’m trying, but I can’t remember Rihanna’s reaction; it must have been boring. But why did they take those pics in the first place? I think a lot of it goes back to something Maria discussed a few posts down – narcissism. These girls know they’re beautiful, and they shouldn’t have to take nude pictures, send them to some guy and wait for the inevitable “baby u hawt loll” reaction to remind themselves of it.

Or hey, maybe they took those pics for us – the Internet. Maybe they wanted them to leak to promote a new album or movie (V. Hudg. suspiciously has a movie coming out next week, I think), or maybe they love their body and just don’t give a shit who sees it. In either case, keep ’em coming, ’cause they’re giving us something to talk about.

To clear things up, no, I’m not a horny lesbian perv. Male nudes are welcome, too. I just like seeing famous people naked. What? I like to know that they have flaws, too. OK? Don’t act like you don’t click on those NSFW posts. They’re the best ones! Thanks, celebs. 

-Melissa

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