Tag Archives: Strippers

I Saw Strippers, Too

Hiba and I went out for Nicole’s birthday Saturday. We got to McKibbins around 11 p.m. I thought I was super early but I wasn’t. At all. I’m starting to notice that I go out much later than other people. My bad, everyone.

shoesNicole was already drunk – pleasant and coherent, but drunk. I had time to enjoy one drink before she blurted out that she wanted to go to a strip club.

A strip club, eh? I wondered if I’d ever been to one. Had I? I’m still not sure. Vague memories of being in a strip joint at some point in time come to mind, but I think that may have been a dream. Sometimes I can’t remember if my adventures were dreams or real life.

Anyway, we got up and went to one of the many sketchy establishments on Ste Catherine St. Oddly enough, the doorman knew Hiba. He kept saying something like, “Habibi, you came to see me!” Apparently, she’d been to that strip club before. Perhaps she’s wilder than I thought.

So we all paid our stupid $5 admission fee, then our coat check fee, and were greeted with NO BUFFET. All strip clubs should provide their patrons with snacks, amirite? My stomach was growling!

We sat by the stage (but not directly in front of it because we’re not pathetic old men) and ordered some drinks. I asked for a vodka soda. I was given vodka water. Vodka tap water, actually. After seeing the bill (and pushing my eyeballs back into their sockets), I began sipping my disgusting drink very, very slowly; two drinks totaled $27, sans tip. Twenty-seven-fucking-dollars. Incredible.

I was bummed but hoped that boobies would cheer me up.

They didn’t.

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Filed under BAD BANGS

My First Male Stripper

Our friend Nicole encountered her very first stripper peen this weekend. She was awesome enough to write about her experience and send it over to us. Now you get to read about it, too. Thanks, Nicole! Oh, and feel free to share your own stripper stories in the comments.

copI have never seen a male stripper before, only females. My female stripper experience happened once upon a time on a drunken adventure in Tijuana, but that’s a completely different story. My first male stripper experience happened this past weekend. You’d think it would be on a night out with the girls, right? Think again.

First off, let me set the scene. My boyfriend and I had just finished work. We met up with my mom at the terminus in Brossard. Once my dad picked us up, we were on our way to Chenoy’s for my aunt’s surprise birthday party, with all our family and friends. Intrigued and confused yet? Keep reading.

Allow me to clear things up by providing a detailed description of the birthday girl. She can pound ’em back with the best of them; she can polish off a 2-4 and still stand straight and have room for another 12 pack. Did I mention she’s 4’10” and 100 lbs soaking wet? She’s quite the wild one, and fun as hell.

So my uncle decided to throw her a big surprise party in the restaurant’s hall. The place was a decent size. We had our own wait staff, bar, dance floor and DJ… the works. And my entire gigantic family was there; even cousins of cousins. There was free wine on the tables and beer was flowing. They actually had to rush to get more beer ’cause we were pounding them back so hard.

After dinner (which was pretty good, to my surprise), my family played a slideshow for my aunt. It included a montage of lovely and sometimes embarrassing photos. What’s a 40th birthday party without those? We were laughing, we were singing, we were dancing, when all of a sudden…

The room went black.

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Filed under BAD BANGS