Tag Archives: WTF Fridays

Skinny Model Fired For Being Too Fat

Filippa Hamilton, 23, had been a Ralph Lauren model for nearly eight years. She’s 5’10” and weighs 120 lbs. She says that her weight never fluctuated during the entire time she worked for Ralph Lauren, but that she was nonetheless fired for being too fat. Of course, the company disputes that, stating she was fired for not fulfilling her contract’s obligations. Nice completely vague reasoning, RL.

hamiltonIf Hamilton’s name sounds familiar, it’s because she was in the news recently for having been photoshopped to look grotesquely thin. Ralph Lauren took responsibility for that one, issuing an apology statement that read something like, “Too skinny? Oopsies.”

Hamilton’s response to her termination was, “I think they owe American women an apology, a big apology; I’m very proud of what I look like, and I think a role model should look healthy.”

Wait, what?

While I think it’s great that she called Ralph Lauren out, she’s not really a role model, nor does she look particularly healthy. With a BMI of 17.2, girl is actually underweight.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Hamilton is gorgeous. Her eyebrows are killer. She kind of looks like those McGill hipster girls I look nothing like and am totally jealous of. But to liken her body type to a role model’s, and to therefore imply that it’s healthiest, is just sort of insane to me.

Keep in mind that the average North American woman is 5’3.8″ and weighs around 163 lbs.

Having a little meat on your bones is hot, and it sucks to hear both a big ass clothing company and a model imply otherwise. I’m sick of this.

Still, good on her for calling out her bullshit employer when others might not have. I guess it’s a tiny step in the right direction.

-Melissa

Via LA TIMES

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Nude, Shit-Covered Man Jumps Into Stranger’s Pool

RobertStarkHigginsFlorida-resident Robert Stark Higgins jumped into a stranger’s pool on Saturday. When you think about it, that’s just one of the downsides of having a pool: hooligans love sneaking in for late-night swims. Except this particular incident happened at 9 p.m. And the hooligan was naked. And covered in feces. 

After taking his little dip, Higgins, 21, stole a towel and ran away.

A police dog later chased after him. Following Higgins’ scent must have been considerably easy.

When cops finally caught up with him, he admitted he’d been drinking beer and vodka.

You know, I almost can’t blame him. Beer shits are so relieving (I assume the poopie was his). It might have been a little more convenient to find a bathroom and toilet paper, but whatever.

-Melissa

Via NY DAILY NEWS

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OH MY GOD

On most weeks, I like to write a WTF Friday post in hopes of momentarily distracting you with something that’s at least somewhat weird (duh), light and maybe even a little funny. Well, I’m not doing that this week. Forget it. This week, you’re getting totally grossed out. I came across something so revolting that I literally gagged as I scrolled through it.

Now, you need to realize that I look at gross shit online all the time. I have this twisted curiosity that I just can’t ignore; an urge I must satisfy. But what you’re about to see broke me. I couldn’t handle it.

I mean, now that I’ve seen it, I’m going in for a closer look and cracking jokes about it, but that’s just my own sick nature. I’m not sure how you’ll react.

I’m not gonna re-host the pictures because I feel like they’d get deleted, but click HERE to see what I’m talking about.

OK, fine, I’ll be nice and warn you beforehand: based on the comments, it’s some sort of mortuary procedure. They’re calling it a cannibal BBQ though, and I think I like that term better. Let’s go with that. Plus, it reminds me of when Dee and Charlie eat human meat on It’s Always Sunny.

-Melissa

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What Were You Looking For?

WordPress is kind enough to provide its bloggers with a tracking system of sorts. We get stats on how many people come to our blog and how they got here. Seeing the number of views we’ve gotten is cool and all (thank you for that, by the way!), but seeing what terms people searched for before ultimately finding us is just a little bit cooler. Why? Because the list is hilarious. Here are some of our favorites:

-Doggy style on one night stand
-Watch free videos of women putting tampons in
-Sex while playing a board game
-Smelly feet under desk
-Fire tit tattoos
-School sperm gals
-On the rag drunk pee
-Thick nipples
-Porn women scratching with long fingernails
-I’m scared I swallowed a wasp
-Leaking sperm after intercourse
-Everything gives me diarrhea (ME TOO!)
-Bitches with smelly feet
-Super hairy vaginas
-Involuntary flashing
-Penises and vaginas
-When I was 14 my boobs looked like this
-Feet that smell like sour milk

And there are more. Lots, lots more. The list sort of breaks up into three categories: things that are sour or involve vinegar, rashes and porn. I love it.

Actually, I googled School Sperm Gals out of curiosity. Turns out it’s not the name of a porno. The title is still up for grabs, people! Get on that.

-Melissa

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Long Nails Are Gross

longI’m scared of nails. Not the kind you bang on with a hammer, I mean fingernails and toenails. Why? Because they are disgusting. I can handle the sight of fresh poop, skin deformations, barf produced by lactose intolerance (that’s the worst kind) and bloody wounds, but I can’t bring myself to accept long, dirty nails.

My fear may have started when I was 16. I was a cashier at a video store. A grimy-looking, foul-smelling man would often come in to rent porn. He had a very long coke nail. He appeared to take pride in its length, scratching himself with exaggerated motions as to show it off. One day, as I was handing him his change, he accidentally (or so he claims) cut my hand with his nail. I bled a little and freaked out, assuming he’d given me a horrible disease.

Nowadays, when meeting anyone, my attention is immediately drawn to his or her fingertips. If they are wearing sandals (ew), then I must stare at their toes. I know I shouldn’t look because I find it so unbearable, but I can’t stop myself. It’s like driving by a car accident or flipping through channels and ending up on a show about open-heart surgeries.

fingernailsMy fear hinders much romantic activity. I’ll never so much as consider a man who has longer than usual fingernails. As soon as those hideous, soiled and sometimes pointy things enter my field of vision, I think of them fingering me and oh God, I can’t even talk about it anymore. Thankfully I now have a gentleman friend who trims his nails regularly, but finding him was a difficult process.

The weird part is I’m not a total germophobe or a clean freak or anything like that. I could live in filth and deal with it. I once shared a 40 with a bum (in retrospect, I regret that). Now, I’m not saying everyone on the planet needs to get manicures (though it wouldn’t hurt – don’t get acrylic nails though, they’re gross too), but if you wouldn’t let your body get all nasty and dirty, why would you let your nails? CUT THEM, for my sake, I beg of you.

-Melissa

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Bad Boob Jobs

At this point, I don’t really have an opinion on cosmetic surgery. I used to be completely against it, but I don’t know anymore. I’ve seen just how bad low self esteem can destroy women, and if shaving the bump off their nose fixes that problem and makes them confident again, I can’t object. What I’m truly against, I guess, is the fact that we feel we need to change who we are in order to be happy. I doubt I’d ever get plastic surgery, but that’s because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. I like my boobs, I like the chub on my tummy (although I don’t like when it’s being touched! LEAVE IT ALONE!), I like my lips and I even like my big nose. I haven’t the slightest idea what kind of inner turmoil girls who get surgery go through before resorting to it.

That being said, you can’t always drop thousands of dollars and expect amazing results. Some plastic surgeons will fuck your shit up way worse than before. I don’t know if there’s like, a money-back guarantee or something on enhanced body parts, but there should be. Here’s a collection of mangled boobs I found online. I’d suggest trying to love the ones you have instead of getting a pair of these.

Here we go. Obviously, the link is NSFW.

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Orgasm During Childbirth

Apparently, some women are having orgasms while giving birth. I guess it’s not completely impossible; the baby is sort of replacing a penis. It still seems really unlikely. And what about women who can’t have vaginal orgasms? Are they supposed to be working their clit at the same time? Not sure. What if childbirth is totally not painful at all? Pain is perceived, and when we expect something to hurt, it affects (and basically predicts) our reaction. Maybe childbirth is actually a totally pleasurable experience that unfortunately got a bad rep over time. Did it hurt when Mary gave birth to baby Jesus? I’m not religious so I can’t answer. But if God couldn’t spare his baby mama pain, why would he spare it for you? 

Shit, if I could be guaranteed an orgasm during labor, maybe I’d actually want to have kids. 

-Melissa

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